The Temp Guide to Life

The Temp Guide to Life

Since the end of last year I’ve been temping, having quit my job of six years in an effort to restore some equilibrium to my life, here’s what I’ve learnt. 

1. You will receive little to no training so get used to figuring stuff out. 

2. Be on time, time is literally money when you’re paid by the hour. 

3. Get your agency onside – if they like you, you’ll get sent on nicer assignments. 

4. Have your interview patter down – know what you’re going to say and have examples. 

5. Scope out the lunch sitch as soon as you can, is there somewhere to eat your packed lunch or does everyone eat out. 

6. Plan your route, and if you live in London or another city, add extra time to accomodate delays. 

7. Be friendly but remember they are not your friends, it’s unlikely they’ll remember your name in a few weeks time. 

8. Getting paid weekly might sound great but it can wreck havoc with your bill schedule, hold onto your money to make sure your rent gets paid. 

9. All skills are transferable. Yes, even those ones. 

10. You will hate some temp jobs, just think of the money. 

11. You can give your all, but they won’t offer you a permanent role – aka the dream. 

12. You will encounter some really lovely people and some utter arseholes. Your interpersonal skills will be exemplary. 

13. All databases are basically the same – cheap, crap, utterly hackable. 

14. You will never earn enough per hour to put up with some of the utter bullshit in some offices. So don’t. 

15. Admin jobs basically equal office dogsbody, however they dress it up. 

16. You won’t get a leaving gift after three weeks, you might get a ‘thanks’. 

17. There is no holiday or sick pay – but you will still throw the odd sickie because your bed doesn’t judge you for breaking the printer printing off job descriptions to peruse at lunchtime.

18. Make the most of the free internet access and find your next job, polish your CV, fill in application forms etc, you’re probably only being given the shit jobs anyway – ‘make work’ or just tidying cupboards. I don’t get around to tidying my own cupboards so why am I cataloguing your stationery?

19. Get the Wi-fi password, fill the twiddling thumbs time with Twitter polls and trying to work out who that person is in all of your friend’s Instagram posts. 

20. You will become insanely good at filling empty time so you don’t get sent home early, you need the full day’s hours on your timesheet. 

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